I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
