I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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