Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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