dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
