I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
