Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
