As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
