i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
