We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
