my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
