help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
