Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
