So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
being pregnant is like rehab
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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