I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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