I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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