I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
