I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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