Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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