You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Enjoy the penises
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
