i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
