I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Randomize
