It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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