thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
