so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
