Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
