I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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