so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize