How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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