I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
