I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize