Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
