I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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