Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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