How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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