I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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