I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
God I need to hump something, right now.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
