They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Everything about him screamed your future.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
