I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
