Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Randomize
