Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
