I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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