we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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