I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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