We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
