how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
