Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
