Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
