Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
