i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
