direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
