this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Threesome in a minivan. New low
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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