tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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