Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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