Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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