i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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