her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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