we have officially lost it.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
