what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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