i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
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