I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
worst night to have a conscience
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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